A list of books I find inspiring and influential. Eliminated are the most academic and dense in favor of the more readable.
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
Viktor E. Frankl was professor of neurology and psychiatry at the University of Vienna Medical School until his death in 1997. His twenty-nine books have been translated into twenty-one languages. During World War II, he spent three years in Auschwitz, Dachau, and other concentration camps.
This book was life changing for me. Viktor Frankl’s account of his time in the Nazi concentration camps, and his insightful exploration of the human will to find meaning in spite of the worst adversity, has offered solace and guidance to generations of readers since it was first published in 1946. At the heart of Frankl’s message is a conviction that the primary human drive is not pleasure, as Freud maintained, but rather the discovery and pursuit of what the individual finds meaningful. I hope it will inspire you to find significance in the very act of living, in spite of all obstacles.
What if This Were Enough by Heather Havrilesky
Heather Havrilesky is an essayist and critic who writes New York Magazine's popular "Ask Polly" advice column
If you are sick of treacly self help inspirational prose, this might be the book for you. It is funny and often cutting, with a message about embracing our imperfection, cherishing the simple pleasures of life, not taking the people we love for granted, and relying less on technology. All great messages.
The New Rules of Marriage by Terrence Real
Terrence Real has been a practicing family therapist for more than 20 years and has lectured and held workshops across the country. In March 2002, Real founded the Relational Life Institute.
My clients often hear me reference Terry and this book. It is readable, often funny, easy to understand, and gives examples from couples he has counseled. Once you get past the self- promotion, it is straightforward and honest with actionable steps for repairing relationships.
Come As You Are - by Emily Nagoski
Dr. Nagoski has a Ph.D. in Health Behavior with a minor in Human Sexuality from Indiana University, and a MS in Counseling, also from IU, including a clinical internship at the Kinsey Institute Sexual Health Clinic. She has been a sex educator for twenty-five years.
Come as You Are uses science and research to prove that the most important factor in creating and sustaining a sex life filled with confidence and joy is not what the parts are or how they’re organized but how you feel about them. This accessible and informative guide teaches that things like stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral to a woman’s sexual wellbeing; they are central to it.
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
Joan Didion is an essayist, journalist and novelist who has won the American Academy of Arts & Letters Gold Medal in Criticism and Belles Letters in 2005, the National Book Foundation’s Medal for Distinguished Contribution to American Letters in 2007 and was awarded a National Medal of Arts and Humanities by President Barack Obama, and the PEN Center USA’s Lifetime Achievement Award in 2013.
The New York Times said this about the book: Joan Didion delivers a searing portrait of a marriage and a life – in good times and bad – that will speak to anyone who has ever loved and lost a husband or wife or child. In a work of electric honesty and passion, Didion explores how we all, somehow, will ourselves to survive. “An utterly shattering portrait of loss and grief.” –The New York Times
Will The Circle be Unbroken by Studs Terkel
Studs Terkel was an iconic character on the American scene and a Pulitzer award winning author. He is best remembered for his oral histories of ordinary people.
Terkel interviewed Americans, ordinary citizens and a few famous ones, on mortality. Some of these stories are sure to resonate with everyone.
I’m Supposed to Protect You From All This by Nadja Spiegelman
Nadja Spiegelman is an American novelist and cartoonist. Her father is the author of MAUS.
This memoir is a compellation of interviews with four generations of women: daughter, mother, grandmother and great grandmother. The fallibility of memory, how it impacts the lives of each of them
Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher
Carrie Fisher - actress, nepo baby, humorist, writer, action figure. Need I say more?
Wishful Drinking is a hilarious, horrifying, intimate memoir of growing up the daughter of Hollywood Royalty, becoming a star at 19 and an addict. It’s a wonderful book.
Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
Caroline Knapp was an American writer and columnist. She started drinking in her teens, smoking in her 20’s and died of lung cancer at 43. A high functioning alcoholic, her story is somewhat different from the usual “brought to the gutter “ memoir.
I was told to read this book by a beloved professor in grad school to give me another perspective on addiction. I was mesmerized by her detailed descriptions of what her “love” looked like, the beads of water on a chilled wine bottle, the music of glasses clinking and how conversation flowed. The allure of the addiction, not just the effects but the sensory component became clear to me for the first time.
Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness by William Styron
William Styron is an American writer who won numerous awards including the Pulitzer Prize, the National Book Award , the William Dean Howells Medal, the Prix de Rome, the Legion of Honor (from France), and the Witness to Justice Award. His most famous books include The Confessions of Nat Turner, and Sophie’s Choice.
Darkness Visible is William Styron's account of his descent into depression that nearly led to suicide and resulted in hospitalization
The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst
Judith Viorst writes for children and adults. By the way, her book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day is one of my all time favorite books. I have used it with addiction groups and it is one of theirs also.
Barney is a cat belonging to a little boy. When he dies, the boys mother says they can have a funeral and he should think of 10 good things to say. He can only think of 9 until he processes it with his dad and reaches 10 and a deeper understanding of death.
Disclosure: this is one of the few books I know of that presents the concept of death to a child without the introduction of religion. If this offends you or is not the message you want to give to your child, stay away
The Way of All Flesh by Samuel Butler
Samuel Butler, a Victorian novelist and critic, was the son and grandson of clergymen. His grandfather was a bully and his father, having been a servile son, became himself a bullying father. And out of this generational dysfunction came this book about control freaks.
The Way Of All Flesh tells the tale of the damage inflicted by childhood oppression and the opportunity to create a self-directed life. Some may find the pacing old-fashioned while other readers may be amused by the satire, wit and great writing. It is believed to be one of the first novels that foreshadows the use of psychoanalysis in fiction.
The Man Who Loved Children by Christina Stead
Christina Stead was an Australian writer and critic who was underappreciated during her time.
This book, another novel about a dysfunctional family, tells the tale of a self-mythologizing father of 7 who plays games to pit his children against each other in vieing for his attention all the while making sure that he is the only winner.
Middlemarch by George Eliot
George Eliot, (Mary Ann Evans) was a novelist, poet, journalist and translator and one of the most important Victorian writers. Her books are known for their realism, psychological insight, sense of place, and detailed depiction of the countryside.
Middlemarch has been described as the greatest novel in the English language. The large cast of perfectly drawn characters results in a work of wise compassion and astute vision of human nature.
Picture Perfect by Jodi Picoult
Jodi Picoult is the writer of 28 novels and short stories dealing with sensitive subjects. She won the New England Bookseller Award for Fiction in 2003.
Picture Perfect is the story of spousal abuse. The husband, a famous actor, and the wife, an anthropologist, marry in a Cinderella story that turns into a nightmare. This book, which could have easily become a soap opera cliché, is grounded in psychological reality that keep us questioning the complexities of relationships.
